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And it's not even the sex parts that offended me, because I live Slut defisher and not Utah, it was the love parts. Yes, the love was so, so offensive. Seeing him somewhere other than his condo made me more Todd rundgren slut of his larger life, which made me more curious about him, and so I asked if he got hit on a lot by guys at the gym. I knew he did. And it made me happy to think about all these people wanting my George. Like when I told him it makes me jealous to think of him coming on another girl's face, but jealous Shane high class escort the fun way.
My problem is that as I read Prostitute Laundry, I was forced to be complicit in the narrator's sense of herself, her rationalizations, her heavily cropped self-characterizations, her explanations for each of her thoughts and actions and how they, even if they were selfish and she knew it, were actually not selfish because What is "jealous in the fun way"? I felt like every other paragraph I was being sold a way of thinking around something I had assumed was good logic — like how imagining someone you have feelings for having sex with someone else is going to make you feel weird, if not bad.
Or that if someone is trying to be an asshole to you, he is actually being an asshole to you: George and I don't sex the way most people sex, and that's ok. The fact that he'd fuck someone while claiming to be in pain didn't, for me, negate his claims to care about me. But because I have sex to comfort myself, not to damage someone else, I wouldn't use the fact of that sex cruelly. I had no idea how else to interpret him bringing it up, though I wanted to. Was he petty enough to hope to hurt me that way, or stupid enough to believe that was a good way to hurt me?
Me, who'd never once objected to his many partners or shamed him or done anything other than encourage him? It is frustrating to experience someone go through a series of sexual and emotional roller coasters, most of which are self-inflicted, and have them at every turn refuse to feel negative feelings. There are several annoying things at play that make this book almost completely unbearable for me. Just one is the narrator's insistence on couching every feeling in terms to ensure that feeling comes across as extra different or cool or special. See "jealous in the fun way," or the passage below, after her and her new love, Max, have to simultaneously think about the fact that she is a sex worker: Not out of sexual shame or general propriety but because any part of me that hurt him, that couldn't be shared with him, might as well be gone for me, too.
We wanted an action-driven woman. All of her emotions are shown to you, the audience, through action.
People define feminism in so many different ways. Hopefully, presenting that in narrative is one step closer. Kate [Lyn Sheil] is so good. I was so excited to make Kate into Avery. She makes every character so believable. That casting could have been so cheesy, but Avery is one of my favorite characters. She is so unpredictable.
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She lives for the moment. Both of them are clase young and millennial. It is hard for them to think five years ahead, which is hard for me too. They are living for the moment. Sure, go do it, but it takes a lot out of your mind and body. We had great people. Half of directing is finding exactly the right people and not overexplaining everything. She does these subtle things to show characters without beating you over the head. We also had Aidan, our production designer, his design and taste are so perfect.